我刚看到了一个特别漂亮女孩。文薪，佳乐和我去了串餐馆吃午餐。那个女孩跟朋友坐在那边我们的桌子。不是所谓”美女“，不过不难看。有圆的眼睛，身体细长，声音不太高不太低，语气健美。她挺情感的。糟糕，我没勇敢，不能了跟她谈谈。
我感觉我女的看法奇怪一点。例如，我课程有一个南朝鲜人。她的样子比较还可以，不过她的语气方法尤其可爱。哈哈，不是胆怯，可爱的腔调。样子只是一部分。
16.3.07
28.2.07
day of the ghost
today I am a ghost. I left my phone and key over Kalle's place. As my director says, "In China, if you don't have a mobile phone, you don't exists." Went to pick up my grades today, and was informed that my transcripts have disappeared, so no grade. I'm curious what else this means. Dr. Wu was joking with me, "Since you don't really exist, don't pay rent anymore." On the other hand, I saw many friends and classmates again for the first time since break, so it feels more like back to normal. I somehow got inside my appartment with my computer so my transparency is hardening a little.
23.2.07
on my mind 我希望成为这样的人
Like A Knife Cutting Through Water这是我自己的志愿的部分。我从不要有魔鬼，不管什么发生。
By Dr. Ben Kim on January 09, 2006 Personal Observations
Every now and again, my mom likes to teach me a Korean proverb. I think she does this because she knows how much I like learning new Korean phrases and tidbits of Korean culture that I missed having grown up in Canada.
One of the best proverbs that she has ever shared with me translates to:
Like a knife cutting through water.
Now before you start thinking that this proverb is similar to an English metaphor that involves butter, let me set you straight.
We all know that arguments and even full blown verbal fights are virtually guaranteed to exist in even the tightest of families.
"Like a knife cutting through water" is the Korean ideal of relationships within a family.
The idea is that love among family members should be like water. You can cut through it with the sharpest of knives, but you can't keep it apart.
Like a knife cutting through water.
I hope that this thought helps you the next time that you go through a rough spell in one of your relationships. It has definitely been a source of strength for me on a number of occasions.
This is a part of my personal ideal. I never want to harbor enmity, regardless of what happens.
16.2.07
excited
Tomorrow I will go to deidei's home in Beijing. She invited me to celebrate Spring Festival with her family!! Getting excited to spend time with her and her family! We're going to meet with Weiyao too. I'll finally be able to watch the master play Go! Then also, I will meet up with Crete sometime this holiday too, go to check out the hutongs and Temple of Heaven. This will be interesting because he's an architect...
After meeting him I realize that architecture is not as 1 dimensional as I had thought, truthfully, I had never really thought about it at all. It simultaneously combines ideal and reality, art and philosophy, creativity and responsibility; all into one. You're creating something functional, but also beautiful. You to take the perfect design, the Eutopian ideal and combine it with the demands of reality--strike a balance somewhere in between. You have to be responsible for what you design. It's not the kind of thing that just goes away after a day or two. A building lasts for generations, whether its good or bad, ugly or beautiful. There's so much there, it has to be the most well rounded subject I've ever come across, and Crete is like a deep well holding all its secrets. The philosophy, the aesthetics are all so deep. but it's applied. the whole thing is very real. The philosophy has a real meaning. It's hard to explain.. but its like I've never felt that kind of depth or appreciation for a profession like that. Art is art, engineering is engineering.. but I now I realize there is sometimes a hidden profoundness that you don't see, can't appreciate, unless you really try to understand it.
Anyway, I'm becoming really excited, but I need to get some sleep now!
I need to do a few things to prepare for the new year:
After meeting him I realize that architecture is not as 1 dimensional as I had thought, truthfully, I had never really thought about it at all. It simultaneously combines ideal and reality, art and philosophy, creativity and responsibility; all into one. You're creating something functional, but also beautiful. You to take the perfect design, the Eutopian ideal and combine it with the demands of reality--strike a balance somewhere in between. You have to be responsible for what you design. It's not the kind of thing that just goes away after a day or two. A building lasts for generations, whether its good or bad, ugly or beautiful. There's so much there, it has to be the most well rounded subject I've ever come across, and Crete is like a deep well holding all its secrets. The philosophy, the aesthetics are all so deep. but it's applied. the whole thing is very real. The philosophy has a real meaning. It's hard to explain.. but its like I've never felt that kind of depth or appreciation for a profession like that. Art is art, engineering is engineering.. but I now I realize there is sometimes a hidden profoundness that you don't see, can't appreciate, unless you really try to understand it.
Anyway, I'm becoming really excited, but I need to get some sleep now!
I need to do a few things to prepare for the new year:
- get some new red clothes
- have my hair cut (again.. last cut turned out to be not so good, hehe)
15.2.07
early morning dream (早晨梦)
First, a little back-information. My roommate claims to have never eaten McDonald's food in the States. Yet, since coming to China, she has eaten their food numerous times. She claims it has something to do with missing home, "I don't understand it" she tells me. So, the last time she ate MD food she got sick was was filling the appartment with smell and sound pollution. This went on for a couple of days. She proclaimed sternly, "I'm never eating there again!" That was last week.
Yesterday, she was egging me to go get some MD food with her. Yep.
So this morning ('cause I didn't sleep 'till around 4 AM) I had a dream where I went to McDonalds and bought a meal for her, the kind with the burger with a little soda and fries. Only, instead of a burger, they were offering this 'more healthy' thing, it was like an advocado or something. So I got that, because 1. I didn't want Ba to get sick again, and 2. I wanted to see her reaction when she is hyped about eating a burger :V. Next, I'm in the appartment, and I meet Ba in the small hallway, as soon as she touches the wrapped up burger/advocado she's almost running for her room, but I stop her at the corner just in front of her door. I ask her something like, "What the heck are you doing?" and she has already eaten the entire thing, just in those two or three seconds.
Yesterday, she was egging me to go get some MD food with her. Yep.
So this morning ('cause I didn't sleep 'till around 4 AM) I had a dream where I went to McDonalds and bought a meal for her, the kind with the burger with a little soda and fries. Only, instead of a burger, they were offering this 'more healthy' thing, it was like an advocado or something. So I got that, because 1. I didn't want Ba to get sick again, and 2. I wanted to see her reaction when she is hyped about eating a burger :V. Next, I'm in the appartment, and I meet Ba in the small hallway, as soon as she touches the wrapped up burger/advocado she's almost running for her room, but I stop her at the corner just in front of her door. I ask her something like, "What the heck are you doing?" and she has already eaten the entire thing, just in those two or three seconds.
hard to believe
man, this is almost funny. so I just finished editing a paper, lots of changes, had it laid clearly with colors and notes, saved that file, saved another copy, removed my edits and saved that. Go to send both, and it turns out the 'edit' document is corrupted or something. it won't open. it's like the classic "my computer erased my paper just before it was due." but it really happened. ALL my major edits were on that page. Now they are GONE. Luckily, only the edits doc got messed up.. the final is okay. still that was important for being able to improve English, but hopefully the project is not sacrificed!! I was really careful to save separately, but still of all times, this is when something like this happens! WUT?
8.2.07
6.2.07
菊田弘樹 Hiroki Kikuta
Kikuta is like a weed. Despite failing over and over, he keeps going. He has his own ideas, often against the popular concepts. He is an innovator with a strong vision, philosophy and emotion.Listened to SD3 and Soukaigi today. Before, I didn't like SD3 soundtrack. I had a completely different experience today. Soukaigi is one of the most amazing VG soundtracks I've ever listened to. 菊田先生的乐曲真厉害，我很入迷！
[Album info & review]
4.2.07
泡菜天一; Washing dishes is a good time for revelations
The kimchee here in Beijing is not too good. There is very little brine, and the pepper is a paste, like it's mixed with mayonaise. The taste doesn't have that great sour fermented quality. All these attributes cause me to question the method used to make this "kimchee." With this in mind.. I started making kimchee today. It's going to be great. :)
Also, my direction has suddenly become clear, which is to say I know what I'm doing now, or put another way... YEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, my direction has suddenly become clear, which is to say I know what I'm doing now, or put another way... YEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
1.2.07
小本子，你在哪里？
今天我跟关根良和他的女朋友蓝芸一起去IKEA。商店很大而且有很多东西。以后，我们去云南菜的饭店。地方好看，食品好吃。云南看起来挺漂亮的！我的新小本子丢了，糟糕！
好像在IKEA男人喜欢睡觉...
好喝
好像在IKEA男人喜欢睡觉...
蓝芸，我，关根良
好喝
好吃
29.1.07
Serendipity; 吃苦谢心
Regarding that story, "The Three Princes of Serendip":
Good things and bad things are one in the same. The king banishes his sons under the guise of punishment, but he really wants them to gain experience. On their journey all they encounter are problems. They are wrongly accused of thievery and imprisoned, the kingdoms they enter are all in upheaval, and all these problems fall into their hands. The princes are ill treated and used, yet respond only with enthusiasm and insight. They use their wit to solve each problem that arises. They never look for praise, or complain about their difficulty, rather they are modest and selfless. The princes don't so much search for happiness as search for hardship. It is through their hardships that they derive their happiness, and eventually, happiness finds them all by itself.
Serendipity. This has been at the heart of my philosophy all along. Searching for happiness is a waste of time. Better to go looking for hardship and just do the best you can. As long as you do your best, honestly, you don't have to ever worry about whether or not you will ever find happiness. You will have already found it.
幸福＝辛苦・感谢
happiness = hardship • gratitude
So I redefine my philosophy again: "Go looking for hardship, and accept all challenges with a grateful and happy heart."
Good things and bad things are one in the same. The king banishes his sons under the guise of punishment, but he really wants them to gain experience. On their journey all they encounter are problems. They are wrongly accused of thievery and imprisoned, the kingdoms they enter are all in upheaval, and all these problems fall into their hands. The princes are ill treated and used, yet respond only with enthusiasm and insight. They use their wit to solve each problem that arises. They never look for praise, or complain about their difficulty, rather they are modest and selfless. The princes don't so much search for happiness as search for hardship. It is through their hardships that they derive their happiness, and eventually, happiness finds them all by itself.
Serendipity. This has been at the heart of my philosophy all along. Searching for happiness is a waste of time. Better to go looking for hardship and just do the best you can. As long as you do your best, honestly, you don't have to ever worry about whether or not you will ever find happiness. You will have already found it.
幸福＝辛苦・感谢
happiness = hardship • gratitude
So I redefine my philosophy again: "Go looking for hardship, and accept all challenges with a grateful and happy heart."
New discovery (新的发现)
烤大麦和灵芝一起做特别好茶。味道差不多咖啡的。
---
Earlier, I had a talk with friends and this word, "serendipity," came up.. can't recall the circumstances. All I remember is realizing I had less than a vague idea of the meaning. I just now looked it up, 'cause I felt like adding to this post for some reason. It fits better than I expected.
serendipity - (n.) an aptitude for making fortunate discoveries by accident.
[Oxford English Dictionary]
f. Serendip, a former name for Sri Lanka + -ity. A word coined by Horace Walpole, who says (Let. to Mann, 28 Jan. 1754) that he had formed it upon the title of the fairy-tale `The Three Princes of Serendip,' the heroes of which `were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.'
The Three Princes of Serendip
Info about serendipity
---
My philosophy is not to go looking for good things, but let good things come to you. The effort of striving too hard for something can in itself hinder you from attaining it. Human being is such a small, fragile thing. There are so many things beyond our control. So just let things happen as they do. But maybe I should be more proactive?
This thought needs to be revised. It is a bit too passive and defeatist. The idea is good, but it is incomplete for me - someone with little motivation, direction or desire. All this time, perhaps I was confusing desire with obsession. Desire is necessary and good thing. It is desire that enables people to find success and happiness. No matter how difficult something may be, with enough desire you'll never give up and eventually you will get what you really want. So, cultivating desire is very important.
I've been afraid of obsession. Mistaking it for desire, I've suppressed my enthusiasm, ambition and confidence. I have been using that idea thinking that it was good, but the truth of the matter is that I was misusing it. I have created all these different justifications why I shouldn't do something. I was only using it to protect me. Fear has been holding me back. I've been too weak, too cowardly.
"As Confucius says, 'Don't simply be good. Make good things happen.'" Although I'm taking Maude's idea out of context (she was speaking about morality), this line suddenly has a different meaning to me.
My philosophy now is: "Go looking for good things, but also let good things come to you."
---
Earlier, I had a talk with friends and this word, "serendipity," came up.. can't recall the circumstances. All I remember is realizing I had less than a vague idea of the meaning. I just now looked it up, 'cause I felt like adding to this post for some reason. It fits better than I expected.
serendipity - (n.) an aptitude for making fortunate discoveries by accident.
[Oxford English Dictionary]
f. Serendip, a former name for Sri Lanka + -ity. A word coined by Horace Walpole, who says (Let. to Mann, 28 Jan. 1754) that he had formed it upon the title of the fairy-tale `The Three Princes of Serendip,' the heroes of which `were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.'
The Three Princes of Serendip
Info about serendipity
---
My philosophy is not to go looking for good things, but let good things come to you. The effort of striving too hard for something can in itself hinder you from attaining it. Human being is such a small, fragile thing. There are so many things beyond our control. So just let things happen as they do. But maybe I should be more proactive?
This thought needs to be revised. It is a bit too passive and defeatist. The idea is good, but it is incomplete for me - someone with little motivation, direction or desire. All this time, perhaps I was confusing desire with obsession. Desire is necessary and good thing. It is desire that enables people to find success and happiness. No matter how difficult something may be, with enough desire you'll never give up and eventually you will get what you really want. So, cultivating desire is very important.
I've been afraid of obsession. Mistaking it for desire, I've suppressed my enthusiasm, ambition and confidence. I have been using that idea thinking that it was good, but the truth of the matter is that I was misusing it. I have created all these different justifications why I shouldn't do something. I was only using it to protect me. Fear has been holding me back. I've been too weak, too cowardly.
"As Confucius says, 'Don't simply be good. Make good things happen.'" Although I'm taking Maude's idea out of context (she was speaking about morality), this line suddenly has a different meaning to me.
My philosophy now is: "Go looking for good things, but also let good things come to you."
28.1.07
The Benefit of Focus (享受专心)
This morning, I launched into a heated discussion about Chinese character simplification I read a few days ago. I think I added to the discussion. Read the whole thing (including my entry) here. I really had to think for that stuff, helped me clear my mind.
27.1.07
sticky rice (糯米)
Today I made a great discovery! For a few weeks I've had this bag of rice, labelled "糯玄米" laying around. I got it at a Korean market 'cause I didn't know what it was exactly. The grains are more round than the other variety I have. Looks like "白" or a beetle (虫). Cooked this morning and.. really good rice smell, taste was a little bitter?? It's glutinous rice! I've just now investigated, and sure enough, "糯" means "glutinous." This is perfect for riceball and sushi. This day marks a new era of happiness for me.
I have found the following materials for sushi:
- rice 玄米
- glutinous rice 糯米
- nori 海苔
- bamboo mat 簾
I still need:
- rice vinegar 米醋
- mirin 味醂 (I'm sure I saw it somewhere earlier...)
I have found the following materials for sushi:
- rice 玄米
- glutinous rice 糯米
- nori 海苔
- bamboo mat 簾
I still need:
- rice vinegar 米醋
- mirin 味醂 (I'm sure I saw it somewhere earlier...)
26.1.07
relief (安心)
Whhooo.. just finished editing the document 关根良 gave me. Took longer than I expected. The English was pretty good, I could easily understand what the author was saying. However, often expressions, although they made sense grammatically, are not in common usage, they sound weird. There was a big problem with nouns, when to add a "the" and when to leave it off and plurals. It's the kind of thing that you don't really get a good sense for by learning just grammar, rather it takes experience of how certain words/sentences are put together in day to day life. This live experience with English is missing from Chinese English study. There is a big focus on being able to read, but hardly any on speaking. I think it's in speaking that you most easily internalize language. When you speak you use language in a more tangible way than writing or reading, and its more involving than just listening.
Anyway, this experience made me think about the purpose of communication. I mean, how complex does something have to be in order to get you point across? Communication should have a certain amount of softness, and yet it shouldn'd go so far to have unneccessary detail. While having so many words can make speech very colorful and individual, take a quick look at history (and present) and you find how more than often it's used as a means of creating/perpetuating hierarchy. The educated elite know large amounts of difficult words (how many words do you know seem rediculously complicated and largely useless?), thus seperating them from common people. However, I am in complete favor of colorful language, so long as that color isn't used to intentionally negatively affect others.
This "intentionally" part leads me to another problem. As long as there are different languages, ways of speaking, etc, people will be divided, so while one might not intentionally cast out another, it will have happened anyway. For this reason, it is very important to always speak on the same level. By exercising mutual respect you can sidestep any ill intention or affect, and then you just have curiosity and admiration for your differences. This is how I see it presently.
Anyway, this experience made me think about the purpose of communication. I mean, how complex does something have to be in order to get you point across? Communication should have a certain amount of softness, and yet it shouldn'd go so far to have unneccessary detail. While having so many words can make speech very colorful and individual, take a quick look at history (and present) and you find how more than often it's used as a means of creating/perpetuating hierarchy. The educated elite know large amounts of difficult words (how many words do you know seem rediculously complicated and largely useless?), thus seperating them from common people. However, I am in complete favor of colorful language, so long as that color isn't used to intentionally negatively affect others.
This "intentionally" part leads me to another problem. As long as there are different languages, ways of speaking, etc, people will be divided, so while one might not intentionally cast out another, it will have happened anyway. For this reason, it is very important to always speak on the same level. By exercising mutual respect you can sidestep any ill intention or affect, and then you just have curiosity and admiration for your differences. This is how I see it presently.
25.1.07
busy busy (很忙)
Okay, so quick recap on what I've been up to:
I'm on my winter vacation here in China. Finished classes at the beginning of the month, and most all my pals from school left for home. I decided to stay here in Beijing, just relax and study Chinese outside of class, the way I like to study. I hadn't met very many Chinese people since coming here. However, before leaving Kalle (司佳乐) dragged me into his circle of friends; 由于他，我的生活改很幸福，特别感谢! That week was a little crazy: one day went to new years party, followed by Karaoke, stayed up all night (mostly) then went with Phi (文飞) to the outskirts of Beijing to go snowboarding for the first time! My life has slowed down a little now. Last week Kevin (朱键荣) envited me to go with Nikki (魏尧) and he far north of China to a city once inhabited by Russians, called Harbin (哈尔滨). There is still a Russian community there, though it is mainly Chinese now. It was really cold there, so Beijing feels like nothing now. The main attraction to Harbin is during winter. These amazing ice sculpures are crafted all around town and at special parks. Intricate sculpures and huge structures all made out of ice blocks. The're even more impressive at night when they are illuminated by neon lights. Also, there is a tiger park there protecting an endagered tiger, 谢谢! Thanks to the people I've met here in China (especially Kalle and Angeline), I'm becoming more comfortable socializing with people, 非常感谢!
Two days ago I drafted another list of things to do:
1. text new friends (people I met during Harbin train trip)
2. text 关根良
3. text 徐成
4. text 刘琳
5. blog: 哈尔滨／啊脸／赵经纶 *钥匙* ~ this should be what I'm doing now...
6. start re-app. form for PKU + financial aid & scholarships
7. leave by 10:30 AM (I was supposed to complete/begin all these things and leave to the railway by this time)
Hehe, I'm embarrassed by my actual result.. even to the present time. The following day, after 10:30 AM, I took the railway, followed by the subway to Tiananmen (天安门). It was my first time using this method of transportation by myself. There I met Hanyu (韩愈) and she took me around the Forbidden City. I really liked the big open stone courts and small buildings perched on the top of grand stone steps. It gave me this vision for a future kind of center, maybe for government, maybe something else. I think China could be so cool if it took some of this old stuff and combined it with the latest technology. I've realized that I really don't care too much for sightseeing. I didn't like all the dark buildings, and when we went through the living spaces of the Emporer's 72 wives, I got really cold suddenly and all I was thinking about was leaving that place.. weird. That night I had a dinner with 刘琳 and 魏尧. I think the're both feeling a little sad because all their friends are leaving Beijing to spend Spring Festival (春节) with their families. So on my way back, I got confused and had a number of problems entered on a different line, made an unnessary transfer, went back, then ended taking the very long way around, went through the wrong exit, then after making to my home stop, took a cab to school (running low on already way late meeting) and had only 100圆 and six 1圆, five 5角, and a few 1角 bills to pay for a 10圆 ride. I broke my 10圆 on railway tickets, and lost my 50圆 (wait.. maybe I used it for ticket in Forbidden City??). The point is I didn't have the correct amount to pay for the cab ride. The driver wouldn't take the 100圆 and told me to just give him what I have in small bills, 多谢! Had a pretty good talk with Angeline and Nikki, many topics.. but still feeling 不好意思. While on the railway and waiting for 韩愈, I had a series of revelations concerning fashion, music and love, which I will have to talk about later! (I have to write it down soon, before they change again, haha) OH yeah.. had a small case of paramnesia while talking with Hanyu.. waahh!
Slept really late, don't know why, but I imagine I went to bed far later than I thought; the last time I checked the clock it was like 8:30 PM or something, and then I went took a walk, spent an undetermined amount of time practicing writing and then took another walk and then fell asleep. I completely forgot about contacting 关根良 today, and when I looked at my phone I had four calls and a text from him:
"This is guan gen liang, a friend of kelvin. i have something urgent! can you give me your email address and a call?"
So I'm going over an important English ducument that needs to be edited for tomorrow afternoon. I'm glad to help, but I feel really bad for not contacting him earlier.
Got another text and call on my phone from another number. I think it is 罗英, which is really funny because I have this long history of not knowing who is calling me and it ends up being her. She's a friend of David (大卫) who I met the same time I met him. Haven't seen her in a long time because, like 大卫, she has been busy like crazy with part-time work. I think she met up with Ba tonight but I didn't make it.. another time hopefully. :(
I need to start going to bed earlier. x .x
And! My major achievement today!!! I spent a couple hours formulating and writing down my goals. I've heard that people who write down their goals, even if they never look at them again, have a greater chance to fulfill them. So, I did this today. I have them all recorded at my 43things page, also linked on my sidebar as "雄心." I have written some explanations for a few of them, but not all. I will add more later. Right now I feel really good about it. Except one thing.. I started thinking about my bro again.. aaaaaaahhhhh maannnn!! we've got too much history together to just end it like this.. don't go yet, bro. :(
I'm on my winter vacation here in China. Finished classes at the beginning of the month, and most all my pals from school left for home. I decided to stay here in Beijing, just relax and study Chinese outside of class, the way I like to study. I hadn't met very many Chinese people since coming here. However, before leaving Kalle (司佳乐) dragged me into his circle of friends; 由于他，我的生活改很幸福，特别感谢! That week was a little crazy: one day went to new years party, followed by Karaoke, stayed up all night (mostly) then went with Phi (文飞) to the outskirts of Beijing to go snowboarding for the first time! My life has slowed down a little now. Last week Kevin (朱键荣) envited me to go with Nikki (魏尧) and he far north of China to a city once inhabited by Russians, called Harbin (哈尔滨). There is still a Russian community there, though it is mainly Chinese now. It was really cold there, so Beijing feels like nothing now. The main attraction to Harbin is during winter. These amazing ice sculpures are crafted all around town and at special parks. Intricate sculpures and huge structures all made out of ice blocks. The're even more impressive at night when they are illuminated by neon lights. Also, there is a tiger park there protecting an endagered tiger, 谢谢! Thanks to the people I've met here in China (especially Kalle and Angeline), I'm becoming more comfortable socializing with people, 非常感谢!
Two days ago I drafted another list of things to do:
1. text new friends (people I met during Harbin train trip)
2. text 关根良
3. text 徐成
4. text 刘琳
5. blog: 哈尔滨／啊脸／赵经纶 *钥匙* ~ this should be what I'm doing now...
6. start re-app. form for PKU + financial aid & scholarships
7. leave by 10:30 AM (I was supposed to complete/begin all these things and leave to the railway by this time)
Hehe, I'm embarrassed by my actual result.. even to the present time. The following day, after 10:30 AM, I took the railway, followed by the subway to Tiananmen (天安门). It was my first time using this method of transportation by myself. There I met Hanyu (韩愈) and she took me around the Forbidden City. I really liked the big open stone courts and small buildings perched on the top of grand stone steps. It gave me this vision for a future kind of center, maybe for government, maybe something else. I think China could be so cool if it took some of this old stuff and combined it with the latest technology. I've realized that I really don't care too much for sightseeing. I didn't like all the dark buildings, and when we went through the living spaces of the Emporer's 72 wives, I got really cold suddenly and all I was thinking about was leaving that place.. weird. That night I had a dinner with 刘琳 and 魏尧. I think the're both feeling a little sad because all their friends are leaving Beijing to spend Spring Festival (春节) with their families. So on my way back, I got confused and had a number of problems entered on a different line, made an unnessary transfer, went back, then ended taking the very long way around, went through the wrong exit, then after making to my home stop, took a cab to school (running low on already way late meeting) and had only 100圆 and six 1圆, five 5角, and a few 1角 bills to pay for a 10圆 ride. I broke my 10圆 on railway tickets, and lost my 50圆 (wait.. maybe I used it for ticket in Forbidden City??). The point is I didn't have the correct amount to pay for the cab ride. The driver wouldn't take the 100圆 and told me to just give him what I have in small bills, 多谢! Had a pretty good talk with Angeline and Nikki, many topics.. but still feeling 不好意思. While on the railway and waiting for 韩愈, I had a series of revelations concerning fashion, music and love, which I will have to talk about later! (I have to write it down soon, before they change again, haha) OH yeah.. had a small case of paramnesia while talking with Hanyu.. waahh!
Slept really late, don't know why, but I imagine I went to bed far later than I thought; the last time I checked the clock it was like 8:30 PM or something, and then I went took a walk, spent an undetermined amount of time practicing writing and then took another walk and then fell asleep. I completely forgot about contacting 关根良 today, and when I looked at my phone I had four calls and a text from him:
"This is guan gen liang, a friend of kelvin. i have something urgent! can you give me your email address and a call?"
So I'm going over an important English ducument that needs to be edited for tomorrow afternoon. I'm glad to help, but I feel really bad for not contacting him earlier.
Got another text and call on my phone from another number. I think it is 罗英, which is really funny because I have this long history of not knowing who is calling me and it ends up being her. She's a friend of David (大卫) who I met the same time I met him. Haven't seen her in a long time because, like 大卫, she has been busy like crazy with part-time work. I think she met up with Ba tonight but I didn't make it.. another time hopefully. :(
I need to start going to bed earlier. x .x
And! My major achievement today!!! I spent a couple hours formulating and writing down my goals. I've heard that people who write down their goals, even if they never look at them again, have a greater chance to fulfill them. So, I did this today. I have them all recorded at my 43things page, also linked on my sidebar as "雄心." I have written some explanations for a few of them, but not all. I will add more later. Right now I feel really good about it. Except one thing.. I started thinking about my bro again.. aaaaaaahhhhh maannnn!! we've got too much history together to just end it like this.. don't go yet, bro. :(
21.1.07
line of thought (思维)
[love 愛]
my view of love is like this:
you spend your whole life hating somebody,
and then in a single instant,
you risk your own life to save theirs.
why?
[heart ache 心疼]
this is what I mean by 心疼:
it's the feeling when a beautiful girl/boy
suddenly walks into your sight,
but your hands are full and your feet wet,
and a windowed door shuts in your face,
so you can only see a framed image
as she/he walks out of site.
what do you do?
[love at first sight 一見鐘情]
don't know if it's real or not.
In the past I knew instantly a girl that I liked--without previously considering what I like and don't like. Now, having consciously thought about these things (thanks to Teng) you would think it would be easier to pick out a girl that I like.. while it's true to an extant, I instead got a completely new experience; Ended up really liking someone who I would have never expected. I think you see different parts of people.. there is a certain amount of information you can know about someone from a distance and another part you can only know by spending time with them. My meaning is that love is a long-term product. I think maybe love at first sight is possible, but that the "first-sight" part is superficial, the so-called "tip of the iceberg." Sometime, perhaps in a previous lifetime, these two people had some kind relationship, did the remedial work, so when they come around this time, all that's done and they can pick up where they left off, or go in a different direction. The larger view is that all human beings share a common bond of being like-specie, and taken far enough, have a common origin. So, all human beings have the potential for "love at first sight." From this perspective, the concept that love is the accumulation of experience actually ends up being false. I see it like a sponge. You can take a sponge and smash it down into a tiny ball, or you can let it expand into a big lump. The composition of the sponge stays the same in either case, just one form is more compact, and the other is more expanded. So if you go to that point of common origin, all the experience is there, compacted into a single instant, and as you move away from that instant, the experience expands into periods of time, seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, lifetimes.. on and on. So I guess love at first sight is real; love being both instantaneous and an accumulation of time, it just comes down to the moment you realize you love someone.
---
Wow! this was just my spontaneous thoughts while my mind was wondering.. I've had some interesting experiences and conversations today, and been thinking about a lot of unrelated stuff on my own.. and I still haven't reported my Harbin trip! another time!
my view of love is like this:
you spend your whole life hating somebody,
and then in a single instant,
you risk your own life to save theirs.
why?
[heart ache 心疼]
this is what I mean by 心疼:
it's the feeling when a beautiful girl/boy
suddenly walks into your sight,
but your hands are full and your feet wet,
and a windowed door shuts in your face,
so you can only see a framed image
as she/he walks out of site.
what do you do?
[love at first sight 一見鐘情]
don't know if it's real or not.
In the past I knew instantly a girl that I liked--without previously considering what I like and don't like. Now, having consciously thought about these things (thanks to Teng) you would think it would be easier to pick out a girl that I like.. while it's true to an extant, I instead got a completely new experience; Ended up really liking someone who I would have never expected. I think you see different parts of people.. there is a certain amount of information you can know about someone from a distance and another part you can only know by spending time with them. My meaning is that love is a long-term product. I think maybe love at first sight is possible, but that the "first-sight" part is superficial, the so-called "tip of the iceberg." Sometime, perhaps in a previous lifetime, these two people had some kind relationship, did the remedial work, so when they come around this time, all that's done and they can pick up where they left off, or go in a different direction. The larger view is that all human beings share a common bond of being like-specie, and taken far enough, have a common origin. So, all human beings have the potential for "love at first sight." From this perspective, the concept that love is the accumulation of experience actually ends up being false. I see it like a sponge. You can take a sponge and smash it down into a tiny ball, or you can let it expand into a big lump. The composition of the sponge stays the same in either case, just one form is more compact, and the other is more expanded. So if you go to that point of common origin, all the experience is there, compacted into a single instant, and as you move away from that instant, the experience expands into periods of time, seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, lifetimes.. on and on. So I guess love at first sight is real; love being both instantaneous and an accumulation of time, it just comes down to the moment you realize you love someone.
---
Wow! this was just my spontaneous thoughts while my mind was wondering.. I've had some interesting experiences and conversations today, and been thinking about a lot of unrelated stuff on my own.. and I still haven't reported my Harbin trip! another time!
16.1.07
my list is not completed
Okay, so last night I drafted a list of things I wanted to accomplish today. It is as follows:
To do list:
1) ask for blog addresses
2) get gas
3) look up words
4) study grammar/vocab
5) fill out absent form
1. The other day, Angeline told me that most of PKU students have blogs, especially girls, so I intended to ask all the people I knew for their blog addresses today.. didn't even start this.
2. This was fairly important. We were running low on gas at our appartment, so I volunteered to fill it up. Here you pay for gas at the post office. It is about a 20 minute walk from my appartment. Lots of people today, and it took me a little bit to figure first, that I needed a number, and second, where and how to get a number. Careful observation was the key. Next had to understand the number and station that was being called out periodically. I had about 50 people before me, so by the time it was my turn I could hear the important parts "...513.. ..3..!" 300 yuan buys about 150 m3.
3. yeah I meant to look up a bunch of words today.. I read a small article about how there a certain key 字 that you can use to create many different words with, good way to increase vocab. I had previously observed this, but hadn't studied it much.. so I meant to look at these words.. drafted from the ones I could remember and that always seem to show up in common words:
( 当, 此, 彼, 这, 那, 以, 是, 然, 最, 想, 为, 能, 会, 前, 后, 在, 到 ) [EDIT: + 常, 经]
4. I've had these great review books on grammar and vocab that I got back in America. I tried looking at them, really good stuff, just essential information.. but at the time it was over my head. Recently, I been feeling like Chinese is a little more accessible.. I think I hit the 3 month immersion point a month or two late. Anyway, didn't crack the books open today..
5. This is for my trip to Harbin. Gotta fill out a form explaining location visiting, length of stay, departure and return dates, and contact info for my CSU program. Did this after getting gas.. both location close at 5pm. Yeah, got a late start. No one was in the office when I got there around 4:15 but the form was on the door. Apparently you are supposed to submit this form 3 days in advance. It's a good idea.. but I didn't do it this time. Right now I think it less important, because so many people are gone nowadays, and even my director is going off, so it's a little more casual.
So, in conclusion, I completed 2 or my 5 tasks planned for today. Not a great average, but the strategy was okay, because I did the things that I can only do here in Beijing, today. The train ride tomorrow is around 11 hours.. so now I'll have some things to fill up my idle time on the ride north.
To do list:
1) ask for blog addresses
2) get gas
3) look up words
4) study grammar/vocab
5) fill out absent form
1. The other day, Angeline told me that most of PKU students have blogs, especially girls, so I intended to ask all the people I knew for their blog addresses today.. didn't even start this.
2. This was fairly important. We were running low on gas at our appartment, so I volunteered to fill it up. Here you pay for gas at the post office. It is about a 20 minute walk from my appartment. Lots of people today, and it took me a little bit to figure first, that I needed a number, and second, where and how to get a number. Careful observation was the key. Next had to understand the number and station that was being called out periodically. I had about 50 people before me, so by the time it was my turn I could hear the important parts "...513.. ..3..!" 300 yuan buys about 150 m3.
3. yeah I meant to look up a bunch of words today.. I read a small article about how there a certain key 字 that you can use to create many different words with, good way to increase vocab. I had previously observed this, but hadn't studied it much.. so I meant to look at these words.. drafted from the ones I could remember and that always seem to show up in common words:
( 当, 此, 彼, 这, 那, 以, 是, 然, 最, 想, 为, 能, 会, 前, 后, 在, 到 ) [EDIT: + 常, 经]
4. I've had these great review books on grammar and vocab that I got back in America. I tried looking at them, really good stuff, just essential information.. but at the time it was over my head. Recently, I been feeling like Chinese is a little more accessible.. I think I hit the 3 month immersion point a month or two late. Anyway, didn't crack the books open today..
5. This is for my trip to Harbin. Gotta fill out a form explaining location visiting, length of stay, departure and return dates, and contact info for my CSU program. Did this after getting gas.. both location close at 5pm. Yeah, got a late start. No one was in the office when I got there around 4:15 but the form was on the door. Apparently you are supposed to submit this form 3 days in advance. It's a good idea.. but I didn't do it this time. Right now I think it less important, because so many people are gone nowadays, and even my director is going off, so it's a little more casual.
So, in conclusion, I completed 2 or my 5 tasks planned for today. Not a great average, but the strategy was okay, because I did the things that I can only do here in Beijing, today. The train ride tomorrow is around 11 hours.. so now I'll have some things to fill up my idle time on the ride north.
15.1.07
Maturity and Youthfulness (成長和青春)
I spent the second half of the day with Kevin today. Met him a while back at BANANA, one Kalle's Chinese friends, nice guy. I went ice skating for the first time. It wasn't that difficult, skates were a little narrow, but that aside, it was a lot of fun. Real similar to rollerblading.. which I gave up after breaking my collar bone, but I guess I can still skate a little. Didn't fall hard today.. I'm making up for all those times I fell snowboarding for the first time, haha. Yeah, went to 未名湖 (Not Yet Named Lake) with Kevin and met Smilline and Angeline there. Some of Smilline's highschool friends were there too. Actually it was very busy, people skating all over the place. We made a big trane and skated around the lake, unfortunately the last one ended in a 5-6 person pile up, one of Smilline's friends got her finger cut, and the girls left after that.. cut didn't look serious, but it was bleeding a lot. This one girl I met today was just learning to skate, really funny because she didn't really glide across the ice.. scraped across with little granny footsteps, haha. I think she needed a little more spirit, haha.
So afterward, Kevin and I went to his dorm and looked at some pictures, good stuff. His birthday party was all girls, haha. I'm going to order a book, "The Google Story," for him. Apparently a foreign book like this cost around $30 in China. Real expensive, my school books here were maybe $7 each. Another thing, from Peking Un. it's really difficult to browse foreign internet pages.. loading is very slow.
Next, we went out to eat 点心 (dim sum/a little piece of heart) with two of his Guangdong highschool friends. Kevin said that the Guangdong food here is the same as his home's. It wasn't bad.. never had Dim Sum before. pork, wrapped with yellow something into little balls, marinated chicken feet, tongue with 萝卜 (big radish), sweat meat cakes, 粥 (rice porridge), 炒饺子 (fried wanton), 蛋糕 (egg cake), flour/fish cake. Lots of food for 64 Yuan. Good quality, clean, service, nice 5th story view of the city.. restaurant was nice. It was great listening to Kevin and his pals talk. They spoke Cantonese mostly, pretty cool. Kevin translated for me a bit so I could kind of follow their discussion. Cantonese people are different than Northerners. Different kind of casual, "good friend," animated feeling. They were talking about girls, how one of the guys' girlfriend is really strong in the inside, can take of herself; how everyone new these two people liked each other, but he didn't say anything because he's shy, how one guy already has a girl but is having trouble because other girls are asking him out, Kevin told his feelings to this girl a while ago, but he failed.. miss Right is out there.. maybe somewhere close. It's something about that language, Mandarin doesn't have it.. it's like a embarassed honesty, sentimental but gangster at the same time. Hehe, I like hanging out with these guys!
Oh yeah! Kevin and I continued the topic we started with Angeline last night, about who is more mature, and first appearances and stuff. This conversation was important not only for the content, but also that we spoke both in English and Chinese. I thought it almost impossible to have a talk beyond "how are you" in Chinese. I know we didn't use a lot.. but I barely noticed that we were doing it, ha! So, Kevin told me, yeah "I'm not angry you said I act a little still like a kid." It's important to be mature, you have to be able take care of business, make money and support your family.. but you also must have a child's heart. Children aren't afraid to show their feelings. When the're happy, sad, angry or confused they show it. They can share their feelings and enjoy the company of others; family, friends, wife/husband, children, or pets. I guess the thing about children is they give unconditionally, without worrying about hiding anything.. very honest. You need to have both of these qualities, to be independent and dependant on the love of others. It's that simple.
So afterward, Kevin and I went to his dorm and looked at some pictures, good stuff. His birthday party was all girls, haha. I'm going to order a book, "The Google Story," for him. Apparently a foreign book like this cost around $30 in China. Real expensive, my school books here were maybe $7 each. Another thing, from Peking Un. it's really difficult to browse foreign internet pages.. loading is very slow.
Next, we went out to eat 点心 (dim sum/a little piece of heart) with two of his Guangdong highschool friends. Kevin said that the Guangdong food here is the same as his home's. It wasn't bad.. never had Dim Sum before. pork, wrapped with yellow something into little balls, marinated chicken feet, tongue with 萝卜 (big radish), sweat meat cakes, 粥 (rice porridge), 炒饺子 (fried wanton), 蛋糕 (egg cake), flour/fish cake. Lots of food for 64 Yuan. Good quality, clean, service, nice 5th story view of the city.. restaurant was nice. It was great listening to Kevin and his pals talk. They spoke Cantonese mostly, pretty cool. Kevin translated for me a bit so I could kind of follow their discussion. Cantonese people are different than Northerners. Different kind of casual, "good friend," animated feeling. They were talking about girls, how one of the guys' girlfriend is really strong in the inside, can take of herself; how everyone new these two people liked each other, but he didn't say anything because he's shy, how one guy already has a girl but is having trouble because other girls are asking him out, Kevin told his feelings to this girl a while ago, but he failed.. miss Right is out there.. maybe somewhere close. It's something about that language, Mandarin doesn't have it.. it's like a embarassed honesty, sentimental but gangster at the same time. Hehe, I like hanging out with these guys!
Oh yeah! Kevin and I continued the topic we started with Angeline last night, about who is more mature, and first appearances and stuff. This conversation was important not only for the content, but also that we spoke both in English and Chinese. I thought it almost impossible to have a talk beyond "how are you" in Chinese. I know we didn't use a lot.. but I barely noticed that we were doing it, ha! So, Kevin told me, yeah "I'm not angry you said I act a little still like a kid." It's important to be mature, you have to be able take care of business, make money and support your family.. but you also must have a child's heart. Children aren't afraid to show their feelings. When the're happy, sad, angry or confused they show it. They can share their feelings and enjoy the company of others; family, friends, wife/husband, children, or pets. I guess the thing about children is they give unconditionally, without worrying about hiding anything.. very honest. You need to have both of these qualities, to be independent and dependant on the love of others. It's that simple.
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